If I Had a Penis... Card
And Here We Are

If I Had a Penis... Card

$5.00

If one of your ladies needs a bit of cheering up - let them know that if you were their man they'd have all the babies and a white picket fence already.

  • Card reads, “If I had a penis, you and I would have 4 kids and a time share in Florida”
  • Blank inside
  • 5.5" x 4.25" (A2)
  • Printed on 110# heavy card stock
  • Packaged with coordinating envelope
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And Here We Are is a bold, irreverent letterpress stationery and gift brand founded by Meghan Hopkins Sokorai in 2012. Known for its offbeat humor, striking illustrations, and vibrant colors, the brand brings a fresh, unapologetic voice to the world of paper goods. Proudly woman-owned and operated, And Here We Are is committed to social awareness, sustainability, and giving back—regularly donating to charities and aligning with ethical vendors.

Your Gal Kiwi is a spirited stationery and gift brand founded by Kiwi Schloffel, known for its sassy designs that aim to elicit hearty laughs.